halloween

i need to blog more, i know. i've been so bad since i got instagram which just seems so much easier but it doesn't give me the chance to really record my thought and feelings, really document/journal. i'll try to be better.

halloween this year was so much fun!! we had the brady family party the saturday before halloween and then spent halloween night at the skousen's. the best part of this year was that my uncle jonny came and spent the entire night with us! we love having him around and i love that my kids are getting to know him better. he was such a special part of my childhood. love him!

steele and perry both loved halloween. i was actually really suprised how much perry loved it because she is still so young. she would walk up to the house hold out her purple bucket and i would say trick-or-treat. she would then say "dankooo". she would then waddle to the next house. steele also loved filling his bucket with treats. he is at the best age!

we started chirstmas at grandmas a few weeks before halloween and are almost done. only have one tree left. brett and the other boys did all the exterior lights this year and saved grandma quite a bit. her annual christmas party is early this year so we are glad we are almost done.

this time of year is just my favorite. i love all the holidays each month and it makes it that much better with my two littles. they make everything in live that much better. love them!

A night of dancing, waffles and friends

My Mountains

We've been enjoying beautiful crisp weather, accompanied by changing vibrant leaves. They seem to be almost more magnificent this year then I recall them being in a long time. Beautiful Utah mountains, I love my home!!

a new me

i need to open up. i just need to write my feelings down.

my life is rapidly changing around me. for a long time i just haven't been happy with "me". i used to deal with depression as a young adult and into our first few years of marriage. i slowly grew out of it and learned to deal with my thoughts and feeling about myself without medication. i know a lot of the reason i was able to over come my depression was because i started to live my life the way i knew i should. my keenness to the spirit returned and as long as i followed my spiritual guide i could keep myself happy for the most part.

my confidence grew and i kind of discovered a new me. i started to really love style and harnessed a new passion for dressing in a way that made me feel pretty. i love feeling different. i think i always have. the problem with my growing up is that i never felt different. i always wanted something to separate me from all the other "utah mormon" girls. this became a problem in my teen years and got me into some trouble. i'm glad i don't feel the need to prove anything to anyone anymore, but i do still like the feeling i get when i wear something that is different. i even half like the teasing that i get from my siblings and in-laws. i feel like i've really improved the outward projection of "me" and am happy in that department.

the problem is that while that can be of importance to my physical and emotional confidence, i have now come to the realization that i need to improve the spiritual "me". i will give myself credit for trying. i try to be a good person and have good thoughts and try to stay away from things that i know don't make me feel good (i've always had a sensitive spirit). and sometimes i think i'm too hard on myself because i find myself saying all to often "it's not enough". i can't help but think "well that's kind of true". is it enough to just be a good person? or do we need to improve ourselves daily to make it in life. do we constantly have to be changing the bad to good and working our way to be more like God? brett and i have had this discussion a time or two. we are told sunday after sunday to read our scriptures daily, pray always, fulfill our callings to the fullest, be a good parent, pay a full tithe, be patient, have charity and on and on. i mean i teach these things to my young women every sunday and i feel overwhelmed a lot of times. does anyone else ever feel overwhelmed with the list of things that we need to accomplish to be...well...happy? i know it's not about a list. but sometimes i just get down on myself, and too often i just break down and all that hopeless depression comes flooding back. good thing i have brett to pick me up and tell me that i'm a good person and that he loves me unconditionally.

so, my point in writing all this (now i realize that i don't need a therapist when i can write and feel better) is that i'm working to be a better me. i won't even get to my struggle with keeping my house organized  and how it eats away at me daily. i'll save that for another post. for now let me leave you with the ten things that i am doing daily to help me to be better. it's actually a challenge that a group of women in my neighborhood are all doing and competing to get the most points by the end of 8 weeks. it came at a good time in my life. it is NOT easy for me to do all ten things a day, but i am. i've done every single thing everyday! i've been very proud of myself, especially with the food restrictions and exercise! except one day i forgot to write in my journal which i was SO mad about the next day when i realized i had totally spaced that!!

1. get at least 7 hrs of sleep
2. exercise 45 min a day
3. eat 2 servings of fruit and 2 servings of veggies
4. no sugar or white flour
5. no fast food, junk food or soda
6. no eating after 8 pm
7. read 15 min of scriptures or uplifting material
8. write in your journal
9. drink 64 oz of water
10. complete a random act of kindness


 anyway, that's a wrap of our therapy session. thanks for listening.


xoxo,
em

      

Love comes in the form of a three year old...

Tonight I'm feeling extra grateful for my beautiful family. Steele was so sweet today, a nice change from what I'm used to. He came up to me twice and just looked and me a few short moments then said "mom, I love you." So matter of fact. He melts my heart.

We had family pictures taken tonight. I don't know why I love getting family pictures taken so often. It must be my obsession with capturing my growing kids. Love them to the moon and back.

my heart and soul

lately my little pear has my heart. she has the most infectious smile and low (sounds like she's fake laughing) laugh. she is saying so many words now and repeats almost anything i ask her to, in her own way. her little brain is expanding everyday and it's such a blessing to be able to see her grow. i love being her mommy! though she's been overly fussy and needy lately (thanks to teething), I just still love her to pieces. she makes me laugh, smile and multiples times a day I can't help but to pick her up and squeeze her. love my little princess pear pear!!

Our Summer

Well I know I've been missing for a while. Decided to take the summer off but I know in the future I'm going to regret it because I missed out on documenting our summer.

Our summer can be summed up by one word, WATER.

More to come later!

my little pear is one...sigh

It's hard to believe that a year ago today I was going to the hospital to be "flipped", not knowing that we would bring our little girl into the world. She has the brightest eyes, the softest spirit and I just love her. We all do. She is such a blessing and I know I am a better person for being her mother. Love you little Pear and happy happy birthday to you!

i found this poem i wrote for steele on his first birthday and wanted to share it again. i remember feeling all those same feelings when perry was born. i thought i'd share it again.

one year ago today

april 4, 2010

{by: mommy}

.....

one year ago today,

our lives changed forever.

after trials drove hard

we thought this day would be never.

.....

one year ago today,

we knew the time was then.

our spirits overflowed with joy

what a blessing our journey had been

.....

one year ago today,

on an early April morn

God sent a little spirit

to us so safe and warm.

.....

one year ago today,

he was welcomed with open arms.

emotions overwhelmed our hearts

could our love keep him from harm?

.....

one year ago today,

his breath was soft and mild

his spirit beamed through deep blue eyes

we knew he was meant to be our child

.....

today one year has past, 
each day filled with love 
we know our Father in Heaven 
has sent Steele from above

sunny easter sunday

{ward easter egg hunt}

 {beloved sister varney}

{easter morning}

{church goin' folk}

{the hunt}

my steeley wheeley turns three!

i haven't been in the mood for editing pictures lately.
kind of just liking raw natural pictures right now.
not sure if it's laziness or that i purely like the freshness of it.
that said, here is steele's third birthday celebration...
all.day.long...
first was a little friend get-together.
we had all the neighborhood and a few friends celebrate with us.
sorry i didn't get pictures of everyone who was there.
we loved seeing everyone and having steele get to be with all his friends.

 we played some fun easter games.

steele decided months ago that he wanted a 'captain america' birthday party.

i tried to find captain america stuff but couldn't.

we went to zurkers and still couldn't find anything. 

then we walked past the 4th of July section and steele went nuts!

he just kept picking up everything with a flag and saying 

"look it's a captain america flag!! oh mom look! it's captain american cups!!"

he was so excited to get a few things for his party.

{the invite}

 {nothing more american that coke...}

 {the food}

steele just kept saying he wanted chicken so i went with a pasta bar...with chicken:).

{this sums up gift opening. complete chaos!}

we practiced what to say when someone gives you a gift for days.

we would wrap one of his toys up in his blanket and he or i would

"open" the gift and pretend to be so surprised.

i always emphasized how important it is to say thank you. 

so funny how much you have to do to get a kid to understand manners ha!

what a day!
it was just perfect for steele.
he got to play outside most of the day
and be 'captain america' at his party.

my heart just can't take that he is three.
he is already changing and becoming a TOTAL hand full.
but that is an entirely different post.
for now i will just say that i love my steeley wheeley more than anything!
he is my best little friend and has such a sweet heart.
my favorite thing he says lately is
"mom, guess what?.................(whispered with a smirk and shoulders shrugged) i love you."
usually followed with a kiss.
melts my heart.

love you steeley!!