Thursday, June 23, 2011

life is beautiful

beautiful newborn portraits by the talented nikki
she really is amazing. a giant thank you nikki.

{this chair used to be my grandmother mutey's. had to use it.}
 {sneak peak of her crib bedding....more to come of the nursery.}
 {soft and simple}
 {little miss princess perry}
 {vintage glam girl}
 {a mother's touch}
 {poor girly....}
this shot didn't work out but i had to post how cute she looks even when she is sad...

can't begin to explain how precious this little girl is. 
i find myself describing her as precious most often.
she just is. her soft skin & quaint breaths.
i love holding her close and humming on her cheeks.
she gets lots of kisses from us all. 
i adore her. can you tell?

her two week appointment was yesterday.
steele was very concerned when she got her heal pricked. 
she is still very tiny. well tiny to me. a good size though. 
perry is very different from steele in the size department.
at his two week he had gained over a pound. 

when we left the hospital little perry had dropped to 6 lbs 15 oz.
she is now 7 lbs & is almost back to her birth weight of 7 lbs 3 oz. 
she doesn't eat the way steele did. but she also doesn't spit
up the way he did. this is a nice change! 
i don't have to have a burp clothe under her chin every feeding. 

as for her length....i knew they measured her wrong in the hospital. 
i've said that from the beginning because she is 
very long and skinny. long arms, long feet and very long legs. 
at her appointment she measured 21 inches! 
i'm pretty sure she didn't grow 2 inches in 2 weeks. 
the dr said it's common for infants to be incorrectly measured at birth
because they don't like to be stretched out after being in the womb. 

so there you have it. at two weeks the little bean is; 
7 lbs {30%}
21 inches {80%}

i have a load of pictures of steele and his sister. 
that will be my next post... along with the past two weeks at home. 
i'm feeling almost 100% now and healing very well.
we are all doing good and loving life.


Thursday, June 16, 2011

another miracle

{new born pics taken at 7 days old...more to come}

i find myself getting emotional as i start to type this. i think for one i can't believe i'm typing my second child's birth story. and two i can't believe she is already here and nine days old. i'm still not due for another ten days.

little perry is perfect in every way. she is such a blessing; to me, our family and this world. her spirit is incredibly strong and i know now that she has been waiting to become apart of our family. all of my concerns of not having enough love to really love her as much as i do steele were swept away in a heart beat. i truly didn't know love could multiply so quickly. i have experienced so many tears of joy holding her my arms so grateful that her life is possible. truly a miracle in more ways than one. i'm over pouring with gratitude to my heavenly father who made her life possible and has given me the blessed opportunity to be her mother.

alright, now that my emotions are out of the way {for now} lets start on tuesday morning. i woke up earlier than i needed to and debate weather or not i wanted to wash my hair. i knew it need to be but i figured i could just wear comfy clothes to our appointment and throw my hair up in a bun. no....i should wash it and put some decent clothes on. after all the baby could end up coming today. but i really didn't think she would. i didn't even feel the need to pack bags. brett had only asked for a few hours off of work and was planning on working a full day.

so i showered, got ready and woke brett and steele up. i was starting to get really nervous about the flip and knew it was going to be an ordeal. we drove steele to my parents and i felt like i should have brett give me a blessing. i was grateful that my dad happened to still be home. they both gave me a blessing and my husband's words gave me the comfort i needed. i felt like everything would be ok.

our 8:45 evc {external cephalic version} appointment was at utah valley hospital. i filled out paper work and they brought me back to the ultrasound room. the tech said she would do the ultrasound but she couldn't tell us any information. the dr would be in to let us know weather or not the flip would be possible. i knew a bit about fluid levels and what mine would need to be for the flip to be possible. the ultrasound was much like a 20 week. every little part of her was accounted for and she said she was measuring about 7lbs. i thought wow she will be another big one! as she measured the black void space i knew she was checking her fluids. the spaces looked smaller than they had in the past. i started to get nervous. "i don't think they're going to do it....i'm going to have to have a c-section...." i started to think over and over. the tech finished and said the dr would be right in.

dr helen feltovich walked in and she instantly made me feel better. she is a younger petite doctor and seemed like she was on our side and really wanted to do what was best for our baby but also listened to what i wanted. she said my levels were low, 4.7! she then tells us that this our baby will be coming TODAY weather or not we are able to do the flip. she said with as low of fluid levels as i had the risk of still birth goes up dramatically. i instantly thought "GET HER OUT!" no mother wants to hear that! and my fears of a c-section intensified but i also felt like i would go through anything for her to be ok. 

when i was doing the nst weeks before, i was told they wouldn't even try to flip a baby in fluid levels lower than a 7. extremely low levels would normally mean automatic c-section. dr feltovich just kept saying "i don't know emily....i just don't know if this is going to be possible. i don't know if i can do this for you." i explained all the reasons why i wanted another normal vaginal delivery but wanted my baby to be safe. she felt my stomach to see how mobile she was in my pelvic cavity. if her bum has dropped too far down it makes it even that much more difficult. she said the baby was really mobile and then thought in silence for what seemed like forever. she then said "ok i'll do it. just for your emily." she then proceeded to tell me what the risks were if we wanted to do the flip. if things went south i would be rushed into the or and would not even be able to be awake for the birth. brett wouldn't be there either. it would be an emergency c-section, meaning they cut as fast as they can and get her out {harder recovery}. still in my mind i thought i wanted to do the flip. crazy to think that i felt good about it after all the risks she just told us but i just felt like we should try. i felt i would be regretful if we didn't at least try and i felt a trust in this dr that she knew what she was doing.

brett and i decide to give the flip a go. we are then sent to do a nst to make sure our little girl is up for this procedure. this is where i get to sit and start thinking about the fact that i am completely unprepared for this to happen today. i'm in shock and just sit there in silence. just completely dumb founded that this is happening. then my mind starts to race. no bags packed, steele's two week long daily swim lessons starting, no camera with us, nursery not done, house not cleaned, newborn clothes not washed, car seat not cleaned and most importantly my toe nails are chipped and not cute. ha ha. yes i did say this to brett as i started to get emotional. he said i was the most ridiculous person for caring about my toe nails right now. and realistically i wasn't but it crossed my mind so i said it. i called my sister jennifer and she came to my rescue. she came right to the hospital and i gave her the run down of what i needed from my house for me and the baby and what steele needed for swim lessons and for the next few days. all of my family was so great through all of this. don't ask why i didn't think to do all of this before our appointment. i truly did not think she would be coming this very day!  

{non-stress test at utah valley}

they get me in my gown and hooked up the iv. they prepare the operating room. in the room is dr feltovich, dr dayton {from valley ob because my dr doesn't deliver at ut valley}, my nurse and the utlrasound tech. dr feltovich rolls her sleeves up and puts her hair into a bun. she puts an insane amount of jelly all over my stomach. the ultrasound tech is there to keep her heart in check. she begins by slowly pushing to see how the baby takes it. she does good and the real pushing begins. her heart rate dips so she stops. but her heart bounces right back and she says that is what is important. she gives it another go and then stops again. i start to get nervous but she reassures me she is just testing her and seeing how her heart handles it. she then says "here we go....."

i'm am telling you the next 6-7 minutes were the most painful of my life. because my fluid levels were so low it made the process that much more difficult and painful. literally the dr had her knee up on the table putting her entire body weight into my stomach. my teeth were clenched the entire time as i tried to prevent myself from bursting into tears. brett held my feet down and i loved feeling his strong comforting hands squeezing in sympathy. one hand was on her bum and the other on her head as she pushed and pulled with all she had. she got her into the transverse position and took a quick breather. she looked at me and said "are you doing ok emily?" i was so sick of her starting and stopping and just said "just do what you need to do!!" she then started again and her hand started to slip just as she was almost there. dr dayton stepped in and started to push on the other side. this was the most painful part. both pushing to get her little head down. FINALLY, she was was over. complete releif over came me and i broke down. i was so grateful it worked and that it was over! few...even just typing that makes my sweat.

i stayed in recovery to make sure her heart stays strong and my vitals stayed up for another 2 hours. nearly 6 hours after our appointment began we were given the ok and i was transferred to orem community hospital where my labor will be induced. we stopped at kneaders and got some food even though we probably weren't supposed to. i had to fast for the procedure so i was getting really sick by the time we left and i wasn't about to go through labor without any strength.

once i'm all checked in at orem community, jennifer brings steele to visit before everything starts to really happen. you can tell i needed a hug from my steeley! after everything that we had been through that morning he was the best site to see.
steele was concerned when he saw me. you could tell he knew something was happening. we talked all about sister's birthday and when he came to see mommy tomorrow she would be here and we would have a big party! our nurse brought him oreos and chocolate milk. he was in heaven!
 i showed him my iv and let him play with all the gadgets on my bed. he loved moving my bed up and down. once he saw i was ok you could tell he relaxed.

at about 6 {i's all kind of a blur} my epidural came and the pitossin was started after that. i swear epidurals are not bad at all. i must have had great anesthesiologist both times because it doesn't hurt. i think it's the anticipation of the stick more than anything. dr baxter came in about 30 minutes later and broke my water. i was already a 2 on my own.

once my water was broken i progressed to a 4 in two hours and was 90% effaced. i started to feel my contractions after that. not full on contractions but i could feel each one come and go. then i really started to feel the pain. my button wasn't easing them at all so they called the anesthesiologist and he gave me a boost. i still felt the pressure and about 30 min later pain started to return. the nurse said i was progressing so quickly the epidural couldn't keep up. i had gone from a 4 to an 8 in an hour and then 15 minutes later was a 10 and 100%. dr baxter was called but we had to just wait for him to arrive. i felt so much pressure and with each contraction i could feel her getting closer. i kind of liked being able to feel so much. it was like i felt the gratification of it all without the intense pain. weird to explain but i really liked how it was. i could move my legs and feel my stomach contracting. the pain was mostly in my back and bum.

we waited for about 45 minutes and then dr baxter finally arrived. i can say i've never been so exhausted in my life. i think the stress from earlier in the day made it so hard to keep my eyes open. i physically was so drained. my sisters jennifer and heidi were both there with us. brett didn't want more than two people in room so it could still be intimate for the two of use. i wanted someone there to take pictures and video and thought it would be a neat experience for them to be there. brett's mom and my mom were there for steele so i wanted to share this miraculous experience with my sisters too. i loved having them there.

i got all set up to push and started the ten count pushes. one push, then two. dr baxter tells me if i can give him one more really good push she will be here. seeing her little life come into the world is beautiful. 3 pushes and she was here in this world. i reached down and her little hand wrapped right around my finger. she was precious from the moment i saw her. amazing. the feeling was so overwhelming and simply perfect.

Perry Lynn Brady
June 7, 2011
11:52 PM
7lb 3oz
19.5 inches

i have to say i was a little bit disappointed in my dr. he didn't even ask brett if he wanted to cut the cord which made me sad. i guess i shouldn't have assumed he knew that i wanted him to do that but i thought it was something every dr asked. i had told him that since this was my second and she was smaller than steele that if he could stretch me and deliver her without giving me an epesiotomy that i would like him to try. i don't think he expected me to push as hard has i did on the last push. unfortunately i tore up and down. completely through my urethra. awful i know. i'm kind of upset about it. i wish i wouldn't have said anything and he would have just cut me. my recovery has been much harder than my last but much easier than a c-section would have been so i'm not going to complain too much. i will say he did a great job repairing everything but i still don't understand how that happened with her being a over a pound less than steele. oh well, can't do anything about it now.

{steele meets sister for the first time}
this was really emotional for me for some reason. partially due to the fact of just having a baby hormones but i also think it is such a neat experience to have two children. i loved every second of them meeting.

{perry's birthday cupcakes}
we sang happy birthday and let steele blow out the candle....a few times. i'm pretty sure having an open flame in the hospital is not allowed so shhh don't tell.
 {perry's gifts to steele}

{my sweet perry}

i wish i would have gotten pictures of all our visitors at the hospital. we have such great family and friends. thank you for all of your love and support. more to come of our first week home and steele with his beloved little sister. oh and her adorable newborn pics. they turned out so perfect, just like little perry.

Friday, June 10, 2011

Precious Perry

Perry Lynn Brady
11:52 PM
7lbs 3oz
19.5 inches

We left the hospital last night. I'm extremely exhausted and wish I had the energy to tell you all how things went. Give me a few days and I'll have the past few days in pictures and fill you in on the exciting events of Tuesday! All I can say is that I'm in heaven with our sweet precious Perry.


Monday, June 6, 2011

fat face

{picture taken 12 days ago at 36 weeks}

brett tells me i'm not fat, i'm just pregnant.
& that there IS a difference.
this is true & i need to remember that in only a
few weeks my body will be mine again.
i'm grateful for my fat face, stretch marks & swollen extremities.
really, i am.  

the thought of not being pregnant any more makes me
both sad & happy at the same time.
i'm ready for my body back but i love being pregnant.
there is something so miraculous about a little 8 cell embryo
growing into a fully developed tiny person inside of you.

she is moving like crazy & i love when i can show
other people when my stomach is about to burst open from movement.
their face is alway priceless.
shocked that there really is something causing
my stomach to become deformed for 9 months.

i'm anxious for the next few weeks to go by but am even more
unsettled about what is happening bright & early tomorrow morning.
tomorrow is the big "flip". we go into utah valley at 8:45 &
will pray my fluids allow for her to be flipped. & if they are high
enough, that the flip will be a success. if her vitals dip & she becomes
too stressed, they will deliver her by emergency c-section.
let's pray that does NOT happen. i hope i can be brave.

wish me luck!! and i'll keep you posted.